To Destroy a Nation
by ScarlettMusic
Summary: We often love who we should not. And it is often that love that destroys everything you have tried so hard to build. Is it better to ignore such love for the sake of others, or to embrace it for the sake of your own life? Starting after season 1 episode 16.
1. Chapter 1

It is times like these where I believe I am being tested. As Bash said those words, those words that could ruin an entire kingdom, those words that should have meant nothing, but they did. They cut through every layer that I had built up in his absence. Every layer I had made my self forget for Francis's sake. But with those words those walls have crumbled and now I am standing in a tunnel with lights at both ends. Is one brighter than the other, I can't yet tell.

I have tried to be strong, tried to move forward given recent events. It isn't fair that I am burdened with such secrets. And yet it is my place, and it is in this place I must remain. Which isn't fair nor just, but it is a life I must lead for the sake of my country. For the sake of my people. For the sake of my sanity.

"You seem to be in deep thought, my love." Francis walked into our chambers, a smile spreading across his face at the sight of me. I love that smile. That smile that used to be so coveted between ourselves, but now I can only imagine that smile being directed towards someone else.

"More an absence of thought" I said with a weak smile, "I feel as though we need more times where our minds aren't full of thought.' He moved to kiss me delicately on the head.

"Then it shall be done." Francis took my hand in his pulling me to stand close to him. "We should spend the next few hours without a care or worry running across our minds," He ran a finger across my forehead as he spoke, resting it beneath my chin to tilt my head towards his. "Only sensations are of the upmost importance right now. We shall surround ourselves with a wealth of the pleasures of life. So we don't think, but only feel. And it is when we only feel that we can live with the absence of thought."

I couldn't help but softly chuckle at his response.

"You have this way to make everything sound irresponsibly brilliant, as though you have a guide book to my heart."

"That is the definition of true love, Mary. Being able to see into another's soul and not be frightened but to embrace the complexity of it."

"Ahh...there you go again with the perfect thing to say." Francis grinned, before resting his lips softly against mine.

...

There are those moments of true bliss, where you begin to feel as though nothing would ever be as perfect as that moment in time. And although you try desperately to mentally capture every aspect, as time moves on your memories fade. And those feelings of bliss begin to disappear along with it.

As I lay in my husbands arms, wrapped around his naked body, my mind began to wonder as it often does in those quiet hours of the morning. Francis was wrong, you can't exist without feeling and thought, they are like long lost brothers who always find their way back into your life. Uninvited of course, but they are nifty little men who embed themselves so deeply that you often can't remember a time when they didn't exist in unison.

Francis and I spend hours in each others embrace, but my thoughts weren't with him. They were stuck on those words spoken by another. That isn't fair to Francis, who I love so dearly. And although he loves me so, and I believe I know he does, then why would he sleep with another. Least of all a friend.

Is this what my life may become, being the second best. It is the life most royalty lead, we have no choice in the matter. The king knows best, the king does what he wants, the king is the real power. Was I naive to believe it would be different with us? To marry someone you loved, rather than a marriage that was only arranged? Am I clouded by fairytales and possibilities of a future that is only deemed to fail?

I feel as though my fate was decided so long ago, but now I am only just beginning to live it. And it isn't a fate I would have chosen for myself, as often fates do go. As much as I try to move past the incident with Francis I can't, and regrettably I wish to condemn him for it when I am as much to blame.

I stare at the candle resting my the window, and recall the time Bash asked me to light it and he would come. It would be for the wrong reasons tonight that I would let the flame shine through the glass. It would be for selfish and jealous reasons. I won't brake hearts again. Although I swear mine has been chipped.


	2. Chapter 2

"You look a little bit weary Mary," Greer mentioned as she placed my crown atop my head. "Are you with child?" I couldn't help but sigh at the notion. It seemed that the only topic for discussion was whether or not I was blooming with children to lead nations in the future.

"No, i'm not." I gave Greer a soft smile through the mirror, rest assuring her that I was fine.

"Well whatever it is you must cheer yourself up for the ball in a few hours. Surprisingly I feel as though this one will have not scandalous events, which is a shame at the same time it is a relief."

"Yes, and Bash and Kenna will be making their first debut as a wedded couple."

"I hear that their consummation hasn't yet happened, in the hopes that an annulment may occur." Greer said in hushed tones. To my surprise I was slightly delighted by this revelation, but quickly told my heart not to care. And my mind to remind my heart that it wasn't their place to be concerned with such matters.

"I hope this news doesn't reach King Henry." Was all I could push myself to say. Given his mental state, his actions have become unpredictable. Which only worsens the prospect for blood shed.

"There have been rumors about the King that question his sanity Mary."

"Yes, I have heard such rumors. Lets just pray they don't reach further than France, for if they do I fear we might no longer be safe within these walls."

...

Masked affairs always make noblemen turn into scandalous children. There is something about the animosity of such situations that can turn a rather uneventful night into something full of mystery. I didn't dare question why Peneople, the elected Bean Queen was still hovering around King Henry, for my attention was drawn to the dance floor where Bash and Kenna were wistfully entwined as the music progressed.

"Shall we join the dance?" Francis asked from beside me. I nodded.

Joining the throng of people as they moved amongst each other in coarsely choreographed routines had always brought me a sense of enjoyment. But not tonight, not with Bash only mere steps away. It is cruel for me to be jealous of my friend in the arms of someone I have loved, but it is the 'have' that makes the emotion curious. As Francis and I twisted and turned in the flock of others, switching partners every few moves, I found myself partnered with the object of my attention that evening.

"Married life seems to suit you, Bash." I tried, for a conversation starter. His hand gently rested against mine as we moved in circles.

"Happiness is easily played Mary when you have onlookers that rely on such a facade." His blue eyes peered into mine as he spoke, spearing my heart just a little that it skipped.

"In time the facade becomes reality Bash, it has for many others and it shall for you too."

"You know very well Mary," oh, how he says my name, "that will never happen. Not whilst I see your eyes seek me out across the room, and not whilst your breath begins to quicken when I touch you so slightly." I dropped my hand from his as quickly asI could before being pulled away back into the throngs of people, finding myself paired with Francis.

"Bash and Kenna seem to be rather happy given their circumstances." Francis whispered low into my ear. I wasn't able to respond before getting moved around again, finding myself in the arms of Bash.

"Meet me." He began to say, looking off into the distance. It was only a murmur across the sea of people, but its meaning drummed hard into my chest.

"You shouldn't ask of me such things" I managed, after regaining a steady heartbeat.

"I don't ask out of nowhere Mary, I only ask when saying such things is needed. When they are wanted."

"You have become so blunt Bash in expressing such things. I am unsure of how these ideas have plagued your mind but you are married, as am I.."

"Meet me." Was the last words he said, but he said them staring into my eyes as he brushed his thumb softly across my hand.

...

The night moved on with a blur as those simple words wouldn't escape my conscience. How many time had I told Bash that nothing would ever happen? How many times had I put him through so much turmoil? How can you break someones heart so completely, that they desire to come back for another incision? What is it about tonight that has made him so rash, so unpredictable, so desperate?

Maybe it is these questions that drove me to follow him as he left the hall. Maybe it is these questions that made myself turn around when I lost him as he turned a corner. But I walked on steadily regardless, until an arm reach out behind a curtain and pulled me in to a softly lit corridor hidden within the walls of the palace.


	3. Chapter 3

"Silence is the key, Mary" Bash's voice was soft against my ear, as he slowly removed his hand that had covered my mouth.

"You gave me a fright!" I whispered harshly whilst pushing him away. I held my hand against my chest waiting for the drumming of my heart to die down. He just stared at me across the dumbly lit corridor, as a soft smile turned the sides of his lips. Then he took a small step towards me, his body enclosing mine beneath his.

"You came." As the words left his mouth, I moved away, walking backwards down the corridor that was hidden behind the curtain.

"I didn't come for the reason you think, Bash." Maybe if I said it out loud I would convince myself that the words were true. He moved slowly towards me, as though I might bolt at any moment.

"You say these things Mary, and yet your actions speak other such words."

"When did you get so philosophical Bash." I kept on moving backwards, until my back hit the far wall. I moved my hand down it to rest on the unforeseen door nob. "I merely came to tell you for the last time that you and I will not happe..." He moved so quickly I didn't even hear the sound of his footsteps, and then his lips were on mine. As though a surge of emotions exploded in that tiny corridor, my arms taking a mind of their own found themselves wrapped around his neck pulling him closer as his lips pressed harsher against mine. His hand slid down my side, over my corset to rest just bellow my rib cage, scrunching the fabric as he too drew me closer.

And in that moment I truly wasn't thinking, but only feeling. Bash's lips on mine, how I had missed their perfection, how they seemed to be made for my own. How I had missed his smell, that seemed to send a rush through my bones that set of little fireworks at every tip. But true thoughtlessness is never long lived, and I pushed him away. His hands moved to rest on either side of me, as his breath came out in harsh puffs. I found that my own breath mirrored his.

"Your blushing.." He said softly as he scanned my face with those blue eyes. Those words made me blush harder I swear, and at that moment I was thankful for the little light. But then I cursed myself for being thankful of the things that hide themselves away from reality.

"We should just say that kiss is a goodbye Bash. We keep it between ourselves and in our heart of hearts we know that this," I motioned between us "was the last of whatever had been building." Bash shook his head softly, letting his brown hair fall across his face.

"I can't do that Mary, and either can you."

"Don't tell me things I can't do Bash..." He grinned at my comment, before brushing a hair behind my ear.

"We shouldn't then. We shouldn't deny ourselves something that others only dream about. That others only fear is a fantasy. This could be our reality," He kissed my lips softly, bringing back another surge of urgency to be closer to him, "We could be the best kept secret for the rest of time."

"Secrets are never good Bash, and they most certainly are never kept. I feel like my whole life is surrounded by secrets, and to add another one would only make everything more difficult."

"It needn't be difficult Mary. You followed me for a reason, and that reason has now been well established," His lips lifted in a sly grin, "Would it not be more heartbreaking to deny ourselves something that we have both been searching for, something that has kept others less fated apart." He moved closer then, so that his body pressed into all the right places against mine.

"Is that what you think we are Bash, fated?" I know I held his heart in my hands, and any swift mention of Francis's night away would dredge the belief that this was an act of revenge. And although maybe somewhere in my mind that possibility had had its moment to flicker through, every other neuron was telling me this wasn't revenge. This was finding something unexpected that filled the slight gap Francis's indiscretion had punctured into my heart. Was that the same as revenge? Or was it merely coming to terms with something I hadn't contemplated for the right reasons before?

"I can't help but think we are.." He said, not above a whisper. " You do something to my soul Mary, something mere words can never truly describe, least of all from the lips of someone like me."

"We shouldn't even be discussing this Bash. Imagine the consequences? You are married and I am married to your brother who I love. I am a Queen, Bash, with responsibilities that can change the fates of thousands. I mustn't be selfish in my life, for to act on such feelings could mean the demise of others not just myself."

"You speak of your feelings Mary, as though there are some for me." His hand cupped my chin, tilting my face towards his. "Is it not symbolic that you are leaning against a door, or that we have now been gone for minutes and no one has called your name in urgency. We have been given this small moment to decide the course of our actions.

Open the door Mary."


	4. Chapter 4

I couldn't look at him as I spoke the words, "I can't." Bash's hand dropped from my chin. "There is never the right timing with us Bash, never a perfect moment. And now it is too late for anything of meaning to happen."

"Meaningful happenings are the consequence of every moment we spend together. Perfection was never going to be in our cards dear Mary, but we are able to steal time away to experience something so close to it that we can trick ourselves into believing perfection exists."

"Isn't that a cruel way to view the world Bash? To never believe in experiencing a perfect moment? I believe perfection exists, I have found it once or twice before."

"You speak of those times as though they are merely a snapshot in time, that is not perfection. Perfection is a concept that has long lasting effects on the soul, that you rival in and remember for the length of your days. I am not speaking of a perfect moment Mary, I am speaking of a perfect eternity. And although I don't believe in such a concept, I know that with you we could get damn near close.." It was my turn to kiss him. I stood up on my toes to draw his lips against mine, releasing a small gasp as he responded with full force.

"Is this your agreement?" He murmured against my lips, as he slightly pulled away.

"This is my goodbye." I pulled away from him so harshly that he fell slightly into the door. I didn't spare the moment to turn around as I fled down the corridor, out into the expanse of the hallway.

"Have you seen Bash?" Kenna's voice called from the end of the hallway, as she turned the corner to see me standing there.

"No, I haven't." I stated rather bluntly. Recovering quickly I tried to smile sweetly, "I can help you find him if you'd wish?" Kenna shook her head, cocking it to the side slightly.

"It's fine Mary, I merely wanted to tell him that his father was looking for him. Although I much not care as to why. Apparently it is a wife's duty to spend her days searching for her husband. For all I know he's probably off ruining his vows... wish I could do the same." As though shaking the thought from her head, Kenna grabbed my arm and walked us back towards the ball. "What were you doing out here all alone anyway Mary?"

"I needed some air. Sometimes these walls seem a little too small." Kenna smiled at me in understanding.

...

Two days had past since Bash and I hid away from prying eyes. Two days had past since my heart began to softly flutter at the prospect of another.

"Why is it that you can look so beautiful, even in the wakes of the morning when your hair resembles something of a birds nest." I smiled at Francis's comment, resting my body against his as his arms wrapped around my stomach.

"I believe it has something to do with the beholder of the eyes husband, for others would merely only see hair that is unnaturally unruly." I felt his chuckle against my back, and felt the tang of regret spread throughout my body.

I remember feeling guilty when in Sebastian's arms forever ago when Francis left us to be. And how even as we had spent those soft moments together I had longed for them to be with another. Can a heart switch its beat so quickly? Or is my mind ruling my heart for an act of indecency, only to break another's with vengeance? And yet now my decision to be with Francis, who I loved more, is unravelling.

Can I place these thoughts on the unborn child of my best friend? That because of the secret I must keep for the sake of Lola and my marriage, I am now turning to alternative means of payback. Have I become so heartbroken by that revelation that my own beating chest has now directed its thumps towards another?

I see Bash nearly every day, normally with Kenna. Greer assures me a consummation still has not happened, which is in all honesty music to my ears. Which I then of course feel guilty about feeling, but then something else happens and the cycle begins again.

I have kept myself heavily guarded against unexpected kisses in secret corridors, but I fear this is more to restrain the prospect of my own actions rather than Bash's.

"You have quick wit my love," Francis's voice broke through my thoughts, "And sadly we can't spend all day in here so that I may marvel at your genius." I sighed with mockery,

"I guess admiration will be flowing from a distance then Francis. I shall look forward to the lengthy gazes and sneaked smiles at my wit." He kissed my cheek softly, before jumping off our bed.

"I feel like doing something exciting today," I raised an eyebrow with curiosity, "We should go for a ride, a lengthy one." He stated, before grabbing my hands and twisting me into a slow dance.

"That sounds marvelous, I haven't been outside the palace in so long."

"And the sun is shining today, it is a sign of good faith." At these words a soft knock came at the door. Julia snuck her head through,

"The King is requesting your presences.." She stated softly, I nodded.

"We shall be there as quickly as we can." Julia curtsied and left. Francis sighed deeply,

"I feel as though the inevitable storm cloud has ruined another sunny day."

...

"The trip should take no more than three days." King Henry was walking around his chambers with a gleeful glide to his step.

"I am still unsure as to the point of this trip?" Francis asked his father.

"You shall be making contacts with some very important people that will help us to secure England when the time is right."

"Shouldn't I go as well," I asked, "Since I am to take the throne of England." Henry shook his head,

"No need Mary. Francis will do fine just on his own." In his madness King Henry was being just that, mad. His actions were no longer making sense, and he wouldn't disclose who these people Francis was to meet were. But to disobey him, or to challenge him at this point could result in a lost limb. "Gather your things son, you'll leave in the hour."

...

Francis had swiftly kissed me before riding off with a few of his men. Still the mission was unclear and as I tried to ask Catherine, she had no light to shine on the matter. I had three days. Three days without my husband. And although my thoughts were concerned with his welfare and the madness that has now pressed on the Kings mind, a plucker of my conscience drifted to Bash. As it often now did.


	5. Chapter 5

We fear the things that we can't control. But it is often that fear that overtakes our actions, and drives us to do unforgettable things.

"Have you been avoiding me?" I thought that I was well hidden between the bookshelves of the palace's library. Clearly not. Maybe if I ignored the voice, the owner of the voice would go away. "Ignoring me won't make me go away Mary." A body sat down next to mine, and as the smell of him reached my nose my body did that awful thing where it lights a fire throughout its muscles. I turned the page of the book I was reading.

"No, Bash. I haven't been avoiding you. I've been busy with duties and such that encompass my life because I am Queen." Even to my own ears I sounded like an idiot.

"Right.." He drew the word out as he spoke, "Well clearly at this point in time those duties are being placed on hold, so may we speak freely amongst the great literature." He placed a hand over the page I was now attempting to read.

"I don't think that is a great idea Bash," I said, moving his hand off the page.

"And why is that?" Because visions of betrayal plague my mind every time I see you.

"Because I am reading." I should have calculated his actions, but his swiftness seemed to always surprise me. Bash grabbed the book from my hands, throwing it down the isle. I only looked after it with a gaped mouth, which earn't me a chuckle. I couldn't help myself but I pushed his shoulder, which didn't make him budge at all, only laugh harder.

"Do I have your attention now?" His eyes rested on my own, and the deep blueness of them always drew me under in a trance like state of admiration. I nodded. There was silence between us for a few moments, before Bash broke it by scratching his head.

"I had been meaning to apologise.." This wasn't what I was expecting.

"Apologise?" He nodded.

"I was very forceful in my actions, and it isn't like me to be so blunt. I knew that what I was asking of you isn't a rash decision to make, I merely wanted you so badly that night that I wasn't thinking clearly." My breath caught in my chest as he spoke, "The feel of you Mary is rather addicting."

"You need to stop saying these things Bash, least of all thinking them. I thought I was clear in my actions that night. I would have stayed if I had wanted more."

"I don't believe you." He stated rather quickly.

"You need to believe me Bash. You are going to be living here with your wife for a long time, and how are we supposed to be around each other, how are we supposed to move on with our lives if you hold onto the past so dearly."

"The past is worth holding onto Mary, especially when it comes to you. And I know it is because of your Queenly duties, as you so stated before, that your mind is clouded with the negatives of such a situation involving you and I."

"You are being rather blunt right now Bash."

"And your eyes that were so welcome to possibility have been damaged by a thought." It isn't a thought Bash, it's fear. Fear that what he is proposing will not only ruin me, but delight me to no end. "Maybe it isn't a thought," He continued, as though he could read my own, "Is it fear Mary? Are you fearful of the possibility of this." He rested his hand against my cheek. And as if on its own accord my head moved to rest in his hand, closing my eyes at the touch as his lips moved closer to mine. I placed my hand over his, removing it from my face.

"You understand the repercussions of such a situation if others were to find out, and yet you press for it so desperately." I spoke calmly and evenly, "You are toying with the fates you claim have been the forcing nature that have destined us to entwine. How are you not fearful Bash? And how can you ask of me something your brother already questions is so?"

"I will not let fear rule my life Mary. In the weeks I spent away from you, fighting for my life, I realised just how short lived our lives truly are. Which is why I fight for you so desperately now. The thought of my brother touching you the way I wish to, poisons my soul as I am sure these thoughts have crossed his mind for a reverse of roles. I understand whole heartedly what I ask of you, but my question isn't what you fear most. It is your answer that will change the course of history, and this is what is most fearful."


	6. Chapter 6

"Please Mary, must we continue to delude ourselves of such a reality. That you deny you have feelings for me.."

"I don't deny it Bash..." I began to voice without fully realising what it is that I had just said. Trying to regain my thoughts, whilst understanding the appearance of tears may come rather soon, "But I love my husband, your brother. And if he were ever to find out it would break him beyond repair and I could not stand for it. To be unfaithful to someone I love and cherish, merely because I have feelings Bash..it would be unforgivable."

"Mary.." He sounded my name out slowly.

"I am aware of the possibility my husband may not continue to share my beliefs in our vows, but it is not a wife's place to also make such decisions. Least of all a Queen. You understand that I am fearful of my answer, because it is the answer you wish Bash. But to do such a thing to Francis wouldn't be right or justified. And I know you understand this as we have spoken of such things many a times before Bash, and yet you persist. You seek me out when I try to avoid you.."

"You only avoid because you are worried of what you might do Mary.."

"Of course I am worried!" I said, maybe a bit too loudly. "I don't fully comprehend what is going on. Rationally I try to persuade myself one way, but then you're near and all sense blows away."

"You have only ever spoken of the reasons why we should not, Mary, will you not consider the reason why you want to."

"There is little point Bash, and least you forget your own wife. My friend Kenna, as a bold reason you should not persist any further."

"Kenna has no interest in being married to me, and you understand this fully. We have already begun endeavors for an annulment. I have no interest in spending my time, no, wasting my short time here with someone I don't admire."

"If you only give it a little while longer Bash.." Maybe then he would develop feelings for her. This conversation was going nowhere, and so I stood spreading my hands across my skirt. Bash moved to stand in front of me, his hands resting on my shoulders.

"You need to listen to me Mary when I say that I persist, and will persist until you acknowledge your need for me."

"My need for you?" I asked in mockery. "You place yourself to such a high standard Bash, like you are some prize I need to win."

"You have only ever captured a glimpse of what I have to offer Mary..."

"You need to stop this Bash. You are clouding my brain with possibilities when I have more pressing things to consider then what your body is capable of." He smiled wistfully at this, before I scowled and his smile dropped quickly.

"I am not trying to be a burden Mary." He brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"But you are a burden Bash." I said, knocking his hand away. I moved past him to leave, but he grabbed my arm before I made it a few steps away.

"Let me just say this before you go..." I stopped struggling for release and waited for him to continue. "I understand completely what I am asking of you Mary. What this would do for all who found out, and how this would greatly impact upon your reputation. But I am a desperate man who has lost something so dear to his heart that when you gave me a glimmer of hope I turned into a careless fool. What I ask of you is what any other would ask of the one they are deeply and irrevocably in love with. And I know we aren't able to have what others so brashly have, but I can no longer let rules dictate my life. Why should we not embrace this connection between us? I do not believe I feel this way merely as a test to my sanity, because I would gladly go insane if you would allow me the chance to be with you completely."

Maybe it was the way Bash saw the world, or the way he masterfully created a picture of bliss. And I knew that there was absolutely no reason to, beside my desire to let my feelings overrule everything. But I moved so quickly that Bash took a step back in surprise. I desired to move fast, pulling at the strings on his shirt. Letting them open to see the expanse of his chest. Bash grabbed my hands between his, pulling them over his head, so they rested on behind his neck, slowing my movements. He spun us around so my back was against one of the many bookshelves and his lips found mine. They masterfully entwined with mine, changing pressure as his lips moved down my neck. His hands explored my sides, as his lips kissed further down my bodice. Pulling his face back to mine for the briefest of moments, before I managed to pull his shirt over his head. Bash's lips pushed against mine again with harshness, as his hands gripped behind my legs lifting me so they wrapped around his body.

He was pushing into me, and I could feel the bulge behind his pants. He removed my undergarments with a tare, and I found myself releasing him from his binds. Bash's lips left mine for the smallest of seconds as he moved into me, staring into the pools of my eyes.

I couldn't help but gasp at the sudden contact, and as he pulled back to push in further I found my body arching to allow more entrance. I was gripping his shoulders so tightly now, as his lips found mine with a groan of satisfaction whilst his hips rolled into mine. His movements were meaningfully slow, despite the rush to undress. And when my body clenched around his in pure release, his release came only moments later.

We didn't move from our positions until our breaths had returned to a steady pace. Bash removed his grip on my hips slowly, my legs slightly wobbly as they contacted the floor. His hand moved to rest on my chin, lifting my head towards his as he placed a soft kiss against my lips.

And in that moment I felt his love surround me, just for the briefest of seconds, before I comprehended the reality of what we has just done.


	7. Chapter 7

Whimsical possibilities of a life without Francis's devotion has ruled me to this point in time, where I stand merely feet away from another who has seen me at my most vulnerable. And yet although my heart sinks with the devastation of the act, an act so fiery that it burned through my body, I have this urge to be touched by him again. But I mustn't. We mustn't. Although he may try to convince me so, with words so richly poetic even the greatest of writers are put to shame, I shan't think of such things again. No. I mustn't act upon such things again.

I'm not sure how long we stood there just staring at each other, with chests heaving. I'm unsure as to whom left first, but the rest of the day ended in a blur of nameless faces and niceties of the court.

I believe now that I had always felt a coldness around my heart ever since the day I found out about Lola and Francis. And even as Lola sits across from me now, and I feel more close to her then before, I still blame her for a situation I too am guilty of. More punishable of, for sure.

"Do you believe it is possible to love two people at once?" I blurted out. Lola looked at me squarely, with one eyebrow raised.

"Is that what you are reading about these days, Mary." She began, pointing to the book in my hands "hopeless triangles of love."

"Yes, I guess I am. Although I do wonder if these triangles are in fact hopeless." Lola sighed, closing her own book.

"I believe, that you can love two people at once. But one love is always greater than the other. I also believe that you already know this Mary, given your decision to wed Francis."

"You're so rational when it comes to love Lola. Such an irrational thing can't possibly be explained so simply."

"Why do you question it, Mary?" She leant to place her hand atop of mine, "Francis loves you with all of his heart, there is no place for me within it." At least she believes I am speaking of her and Francis.

"I know you're right Lola, I just don't know how much longer I can keep the secret." To what secret I was referring to I now no longer knew the answer.

"You must Mary. And I know what position I place you in. But I am to be wed very soon, and then I will be gone so no need to worry. Everything is working out just as you have said." Lola is right. She will be gone, with her and Francis's child. And i'll be here with Bash keeping another secret buried within these palace walls. Just the thought of his name sends motion through my body. No, I mustn't think of such things.

"Mary?" A soft voice called from the doorway. I turned to face Kenna, motioning for her to join Lola and I.

"What is the matter Kenna, you look as though you have seen a ghost."

"No, not a ghost." Kenna begun to say as she sat down next to Lola and I, "But a madman for sure."

...

Kenna disclosed information about the King, even though she knew Queen Catherine would scold her for betraying her trust in the matter. The King was in a much worser state than I had initially feared, and the safety of my husband was now plaguing my concern.

I believe I was marching down the hallways, searching for the one person I shouldn't seek to find.

"You appear to be on a mission Mary.." Trying to make a joke but then realising my determined face Bash's voice stopped. "What is the matter?" He moved to touch me, but then thought better of it given the other occupants in the hallway, and dropped his hands to his sides.

"Has Henry ever threatened your life, Bash?" Initially appearing to be confused at the question, Bash responded with certainty.

"Yes. He was responsible for the guards attempt on my life. Believing that I would always covet what belongs to my brother, and that by removing me from the play every problem will vanish along with it." He moved to scratch his head, "I guess in some respects my father is more observant than most, but I don't understand what has made you so frightened." To discuss this with him so openly isn't something we should do.

"Let us go somewhere more private."

...

Within the closed doors of my chambers we were free to speak.

"What is it Mary?" Bash asked as soon as the doors were closed. He moved of his own will to run his fingers along my arms. I moved away swiftly, despite enjoy the brief contact.

"Kenna has told me these stories of the King. And I fear now that is madness may be corrupting the country. Until Francis gets back I am unsure of what to do. Henry wishes to make Penelope the actual Queen of France."

"That isn't even possible.."

"But Henry believes it is. And he wishes to destroy all who venture into his way." Bash moved again to touch my arm, and as I tried to pull away again he held me still.

"Mary." He said my name so softly as though it had been flown in by a breeze, "You needn't worry. Francis and I have already spoken about our fathers welfare, and like you we are fearful of the worse. Henry is insufferable and refuses to consult a medical scholar, and so we must be extra vigilant. I shall speak to my wife.." His wife..at the sound of those words my face must have unravelled a secret. "Where did your mind just go Mary? Have I offended you, you look..."

"No. Of course not Bash. What could you possibly have said that would offend me?" He turned his head to the side as though he was searching for an answer he already knew the answer to. And although I believe he chose his words carefully to instigate such a reaction, my reaction is what scared me the most.

"I adore you Mary, you needn't worry. I have eyes for no other, my lips will not touch another's, and my body will not be with another nor will my heart." I was going to protest but his words sunk into my soul with the right amount of tied wood to make me see a future with the man before me. And then I remembered dear Francis who was oblivious to my infidelity, and the wood turned to led.

"I can't be around you Bash."

"I don't understand."

"You perfectly understand and that is the issue. You speak of such sweet futures and I can't promise you these things and that is what tears me in two. I fear you are missing out on the splendors of life and one day will resent me for it."

"Being with you is what matters to me most Mary. If I was to die tomorrow I would pass on with a grin on my face for I have loved another fully and completely."

"And if you died at the end of my husbands sword Bash, I would be struck soon after."


	8. Chapter 8

"You dismiss the concept of us so swiftly Mary, that you don't even take the time to fully consider the possibilities."

"Is that what you truly believe Bash? That I haven't considered the possibilities?" I lowered my voice, even though I knew no one would hear us. "We were together as only a man and wife should be, and you don't think I have considered the possibilities? It breaks my heart every time I think of us that way, at the same time as it races it with the desire for more. You say that you understand what you ask of me, that you understand what we both are risking but I am risking more Bash. We may both lose our heads for this, but I shall also lose a kingdom." He rubbed his hands over his face in anguish.

"So you've had your fun is that it Mary? That you toy with me as a revenge for Francis's misguidedness with Lola.."

"How do you know of that?" I abruptly interrupted.

"I hear whispers Mary. You aren't necessarily as wary when you have such conversations."

"There is no need to be cruel Bash." He laughed at this, a hand clutching his chest.

"I'm being cruel!?" I could see the rage flicker across his features. "You Mary have played my heart like a violin, and now that you have broken its strings you have no more use for it. You make up lies to comfort me in the hopes that the ideas of duty and custom are to diminish my feelings for you."

"I'm..I'm just so confused Bash." I muttered, twisting my hands around each other.

"Confusion is fine Mary, it means you are still searching for an answer. But you have made up your answer Mary, it was already decided prior to the library."

"That isn't true Bash!" It was my turn to become angry. I moved in towards him so we were only a breath apart, grabbing his head between my hands I brought his ear to my lips as I whispered, "It is you who is dismissing things so irrationally, using words to talk yourself into a fantasy realm full of only happy endings." I moved his head so I could look into his eyes, "We don't live in a fantasy Bash, things aren't so easily decided. And yes I know you question the need for a decision, but our lives are built on such things. To ignore them would be madness." He rested his hands against mine, staring back.

"We are endlessly having the same conversation Mary, and I am tiring of it easily. You and I is what I want, it awakens me to know it is what I have always wanted and will forever want. You remain fearful of letting me in completely when I do not aim to disrupt your life, but to fulfill it."

"You place a lot of faith in your capabilities Bash, when it isn't possible for us to have the life that you desire. Not here in these walls, not now in this time."

"Then let us run away."


	9. Chapter 9

"Runaway?" I said not above a whisper as I slowly contemplated the reality of such an event.

"You're pausing.." Bash mentioned, moving closer to me. Turning my head away from him I spoke,

"I'm not pausing..."

"You are pausing" His hand rested under my chin, turning my head back towards his. "You should pause to think more often." I began to speak rather quickly, my voice shaking slightly as I tried to figure out what I wanted.

"If I was pausing, which I'm not, it may not be for the reason you wish Bash. It may be for a way to better word such terrible things." He let out a deep sigh at this.

"Oh Mary..." It was his turn to pause, but as he cocked his head to the side gazing into my eyes I knew what was coming next "You and I," He began, a small smile tugging at the sides of his lips, "That is what you have chosen."

"I never said such a thing."

"It never is what you say Mary that shows the truest of your heart. You spend your time rationalising every situation for the better of those who surround you, but never yourself. I offer you an escape from that, I offer you true freedom."

"There is no such thing."

"We will make it so." He clutched our hands together between our bodies. "Have a little faith."

Was I to be so reckless as to agree with him, to believe in his promises? Was I merely looking for a change of scenery, one where I needn't worry about the endless charade of court? And what of dear Francis? Is my laps in thought of his face and his kindness a sign from the skies, pushing me towards a future with his brother? And what future will that be? Will it be as Bash imagines, or will we tire of each other when the risk is taken away?

...

"Kiss me." I spoke so softly, that I needn't open my eyes.

Nothing happened.

I opened my eyes and saw his pearly blue staring back at me. Should I repeat it? I wasn't sure. The two words came over me so quickly that maybe he didn't even hear them and I was only thinking them. "I shouldn't..." What ever he was contemplated was short lived as he pulled me into his arms with his lips softly resting upon mine. The softness was short lived as he drew me closer to deepen the kiss. Bash's hands were clutching the sides of my dress so fiercely that when they ripped it came as no surprise. The days it took to make the silken dress had now gone to waste. We pulled at each others clothing, until we stood there bare. He pulled us to the ground, his kisses grazing the length of my body as my back arched in anticipation...

"Mary?" Someones voice broke through the haze of what was only a dream. I shook my head to try and rid myself of the scene. But my body was still pumping with adrenaline that it needed a release. "Mary?" The voice asked again.

"Yes Greer?" I managed.

"Are you ok? You were making awfully odd noises." I nodded, as I brushed my hair over my shoulder. "I must have fallen asleep whilst reading again. Reading about sworded men always seems to give me nightmares." I tried. A knock sounded from the door.

"Come in." I called.

As he walked into the room, I knew. We'd leave tonight.


End file.
